I've decided to discontinue adding to this blog for the forseeable future, but since that could change and because people seem to continue to find it when searching for information on wedding planning (especially welcome notes), I've decided to leave it up for now.
If you would like to ask my advice on something, please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. I still love this topic, but have decided that for now, I will focus on writing about other interests.
Sincerely,
Alyssa
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Hassle-Free Vendor Selection
One great way to find vendors for all your wedding needs, is word of mouth. Ask friends, family, coworkers, clergy, anyone you know, who they have used and liked working with in the past. It’s important that they have used their services, not just know them. There are a lot of great people out there, who are bad at business. You need people you can rely on, who will live up to their promises and deliver on time.
If you can only get referrals for one or two vendors, don’t worry. That’s all you need to get started. From there, you can ask the referred vendors themselves who they like to work with. For example, say you find a great venue for the reception. Maybe your best friend got married there two years ago, and not only did you have a great time, but your friend said the people were helpful and things went smoothly. Ask the manager of the venue which cake vendors he’s worked with, what bands have played there, who’s brought in flowers. You get the picture.
He won’t recommend people who’ve done a bad job. He’ll recommend people that he liked and meshed well into the events he’s hosted in the past. Good people prefer to work with good people. Sure they’ll work with whomever you choose, but if they’ve been in the business for a few years, just ask them and they’ll tell you who’s good.
Then just work your way down the chain. Ask the cake lady who she’s worked with, and so on and so on. It’s a good idea to ask each vendor who they like in all categories, then you can see who overlaps. If get the names of three cake vendors, but one of them got three “votes” then you know who’s the best.
Here’s a list of items/vendors you may need to find:
(Let me know what I’ve left out.)
Bridal Gown & Bridesmaid Dresses
Groom’s Tux & Attendant Rentals
Invitations & Other Printed Materials
Florist
Cake
Food & Alcohol
Linen Rental
Photographer & Videographer
Reception Venue
Bands & DJs
Wedding Planner
Ceremony Location
Wedding Officiate
Another huge advantage to this approach is that since these vendors have worked together in the past, your wedding will run more smoothly. The inevitable mishaps and oversights, can be quickly corrected because they’re already familiar with each other and can work together better as a team.
If you can only get referrals for one or two vendors, don’t worry. That’s all you need to get started. From there, you can ask the referred vendors themselves who they like to work with. For example, say you find a great venue for the reception. Maybe your best friend got married there two years ago, and not only did you have a great time, but your friend said the people were helpful and things went smoothly. Ask the manager of the venue which cake vendors he’s worked with, what bands have played there, who’s brought in flowers. You get the picture.
He won’t recommend people who’ve done a bad job. He’ll recommend people that he liked and meshed well into the events he’s hosted in the past. Good people prefer to work with good people. Sure they’ll work with whomever you choose, but if they’ve been in the business for a few years, just ask them and they’ll tell you who’s good.
Then just work your way down the chain. Ask the cake lady who she’s worked with, and so on and so on. It’s a good idea to ask each vendor who they like in all categories, then you can see who overlaps. If get the names of three cake vendors, but one of them got three “votes” then you know who’s the best.
Here’s a list of items/vendors you may need to find:
(Let me know what I’ve left out.)
Bridal Gown & Bridesmaid Dresses
Groom’s Tux & Attendant Rentals
Invitations & Other Printed Materials
Florist
Cake
Food & Alcohol
Linen Rental
Photographer & Videographer
Reception Venue
Bands & DJs
Wedding Planner
Ceremony Location
Wedding Officiate
Another huge advantage to this approach is that since these vendors have worked together in the past, your wedding will run more smoothly. The inevitable mishaps and oversights, can be quickly corrected because they’re already familiar with each other and can work together better as a team.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Choreograph – The Rehearsal Dinner
Rehearsal dinners are often formal affairs, but they don’t need to be, and generally the more casual they are, the more people you can invite. If you have a lot of people coming in from out of town that aren’t on that night’s guest list, plan something for them to do, either all together or at least give them suggestions and directions on where to eat.
Don’t leave them out in the cold. They didn’t come all that way to hang out by themselves and order room service.
Our total guest list was around 85, some lived locally, but about 50 people planned to arrive from out of town the day before. So we decided to go the non-traditional route and invited everyone to the rehearsal dinner. To make this easy and affordable, we went super casual and hosted the event in the church basement, which had a large kitchen and plenty of tables and chairs.
Since we got married on the coast of Maine, we decided to have a lobster bake. We bought lobsters from the dock, and my local family members arranged for several people to bring side dishes and desserts, potluck style. We wound up with 70 people having a great time. Some had never tackled a whole lobster before, and watching them try to figure out how to get into it was a treat.
We could have left 40 or so people to their own devices that night, but I felt that since they came all that way, we owed it to them to make sure they were well taken care of and had a great time.
The only drawback to using the church basement was that we couldn’t serve alcohol. So instead, we had an open house at my dad’s (one mile away) during the afternoon, where our families could meet and mingle over snacks and drinks, and then after dinner, we invited those who weren’t ready for bed to a local restaurant on the water for drinks.
On the plus side, when we were ready to go through the actual rehearsal, all we had to do was excuse ourselves for a few minutes and take the people we needed from the assembled guests upstairs for a quick run through. Incidentally, that’s when the reality of the event first hit me, but that’s another story.
So…logistics. How far away will your rehearsal dinner be from where everyone is staying? Can they walk? If not, how far is the drive? Do they need directions? Can they carpool or can you find a creative alternative? A trolley, a boat, a train? One of my stepsisters chartered a bus for the evening to get everyone to their rehearsal dinner. Make it either easy or fun if you can.
And what about before and after? Make it optional, but try to have some ongoing activities, so that people can join in when and where they want. Some like to party late and some want to relax and chat during the afternoon. You don’t need to be present the whole time, just provide the structure and let your guests choose what they want to attend. It’ll make for a great intro to the weekend.
And don’t forget to let them know about attire and any other quirks of the day or evening. The note about our event said, “Casual attire! Lobster butter may fly.”
Don’t leave them out in the cold. They didn’t come all that way to hang out by themselves and order room service.
Our total guest list was around 85, some lived locally, but about 50 people planned to arrive from out of town the day before. So we decided to go the non-traditional route and invited everyone to the rehearsal dinner. To make this easy and affordable, we went super casual and hosted the event in the church basement, which had a large kitchen and plenty of tables and chairs.
Since we got married on the coast of Maine, we decided to have a lobster bake. We bought lobsters from the dock, and my local family members arranged for several people to bring side dishes and desserts, potluck style. We wound up with 70 people having a great time. Some had never tackled a whole lobster before, and watching them try to figure out how to get into it was a treat.
We could have left 40 or so people to their own devices that night, but I felt that since they came all that way, we owed it to them to make sure they were well taken care of and had a great time.
The only drawback to using the church basement was that we couldn’t serve alcohol. So instead, we had an open house at my dad’s (one mile away) during the afternoon, where our families could meet and mingle over snacks and drinks, and then after dinner, we invited those who weren’t ready for bed to a local restaurant on the water for drinks.
On the plus side, when we were ready to go through the actual rehearsal, all we had to do was excuse ourselves for a few minutes and take the people we needed from the assembled guests upstairs for a quick run through. Incidentally, that’s when the reality of the event first hit me, but that’s another story.
So…logistics. How far away will your rehearsal dinner be from where everyone is staying? Can they walk? If not, how far is the drive? Do they need directions? Can they carpool or can you find a creative alternative? A trolley, a boat, a train? One of my stepsisters chartered a bus for the evening to get everyone to their rehearsal dinner. Make it either easy or fun if you can.
And what about before and after? Make it optional, but try to have some ongoing activities, so that people can join in when and where they want. Some like to party late and some want to relax and chat during the afternoon. You don’t need to be present the whole time, just provide the structure and let your guests choose what they want to attend. It’ll make for a great intro to the weekend.
And don’t forget to let them know about attire and any other quirks of the day or evening. The note about our event said, “Casual attire! Lobster butter may fly.”
Friday, May 30, 2008
Who’s Date is It?
When choosing the date for your wedding, find out who might be sharing it with you.
- Festivals
- County & State Fairs
- Art Fairs
- Big Concerts
- Large Conventions
- Graduation
- Home Coming
- Etc…
Depending on the amount of lodging available, you may or may not want to hold your event on the same weekend.
How to Find Out
- Check city websites
- Call local colleges
- Call convention centers
- Ask hotel managers
If lodging is limited, choose another weekend, because room rates can go up during big events and some area even impose a two-night minimum stay. Granted you might be able to book a block of rooms, but you could still end up with a few last minute stragglers who can’t come because they either can’t find or can’t afford a room. Plus, there could be traffic jams and long waits for touristy spots that your guests want to visit in the off-wedding hours.
However, if there’s plenty of lodging, you might want to choose the same date on purpose. Say there’s a big art fair or music festival downtown. Your out-of-town guests might love the opportunity to check it out during the day and then go to your wedding in the late afternoon. Regardless, booking a block of rooms is a must, because even though there might be plenty of lodging, you don’t know which hotels will fill up first, so choose yours early.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Welcome Bags for Kids
We gave gift bags to the kids who came to our reception (puzzle books, match boxes, etc), but a kids welcome gift bag is another great idea if you have kids coming in from out of town.
You could put a couple of items for the kids in the adult gift bags (and by adult I mean the grown up kind, not the x-rated kind), but a better idea might be to create separate bags for the kids, which will make them feel special.
So, what should you put in it? Here is a list of ideas that won’t break your budget. Kids don’t need a lot, just three or four things will do. If at all possible, try to find local stuff. It’ll make the trip that much more interesting and educational.
You could put a couple of items for the kids in the adult gift bags (and by adult I mean the grown up kind, not the x-rated kind), but a better idea might be to create separate bags for the kids, which will make them feel special.
So, what should you put in it? Here is a list of ideas that won’t break your budget. Kids don’t need a lot, just three or four things will do. If at all possible, try to find local stuff. It’ll make the trip that much more interesting and educational.
- Books - Look for books in their age group by local authors or about the local area. Ask the manager at your local bookstore to help you pick them out.
- Snacks – One sweet snack is okay, but try to find healthy goodies too. Again, go for local treats if you can find them.
- Activity Books – Like coloring books or puzzle books.
- Crayons, Pencils, Pens – This one is pretty obvious.
- Stickers – Kids love stickers. You can find them in craft stores and gift shops.
- Disposable Camera – Digital is where it’s at these days, but not too many kids are allowed to handle them, so give them the old fashioned (and virtually unbreakable kind) so they can snap whatever catches their eye.
- Small Stuffed Animals – Look for animals that live locally. Check gift shops in the area or at the airport.
For teenagers (I'm not an expert in this category, but here are a few suggestions):
- Books - Especially books take place in the local area.
- Journals - For recording thoughts about their trip.
- Sketch Pad & Pencils - Especially if you're in a scenic area, to encourage them to explore their creative side.
- Puzzle Books - Like Sudoku or something equally challenging.
Do you have more kids or teens ideas? Post a comment and share them with us.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
More on the Great Outdoors
If some portion of the day’s events will be outdoors, don’t rely on your memory of past weather patterns or guess at what you think they’ll be. Ask the experts. Weather.com has created a great little page to help you plan your wedding outdoors, with tips sponsored by The Knot.
The site includes:
- Typical Weather (for your chosen date)
- Outdoor Wedding Checklist
- Sunset Calculator
- In Season Flower Finder
- …and lots more
The Wedding Checklist includes tips like:
“If the cake will spend any time outside in warm weather, consider fondant rather than buttercream icing.”
Now that’s something I wouldn’t have thought of (and is just one of many great tips).
So if you’re planning an outdoor wedding, be sure to read every page of that site. Information can make the difference between a joyous wedding and a mediocre one.
(Note: If at some point the link to this site stops working, go to www.weather.com, then click on Home & Family and choose Wedding Planner from the list.)
Monday, May 19, 2008
Neither Rain, Nor Snow, Nor Sleet…
Outdoor weddings can be wonderful, but barring major catastrophe, the show must go on no matter what the weather. Granted, you probably won’t schedule an outdoor wedding during a time when there’s a chance for snow (unless of course you just love winter and plan to pick out a parka to match your dress), but wind, cool temperatures and rain can do a lot to make an outdoor wedding uncomfortable for everyone. It becomes an event to grin and bear, rather then one to enjoy.
As a rule, I’d say it’s a nice idea, but keep the planned events indoors. However, if you just can’t help thinking of how romantic and beautiful it would be, there are some things you can do.
Compromise
Plan one piece outside, like cocktail hour or photos. That way you get to spend some time outdoors, without much risk, because both of those events could easily be pulled inside with a few last minute preparations.
A Site with a View
Find a reception site with a large balcony, patio or deck where you and your guests can go outside at will, but where the actual events happen indoors. Somewhere with a view is a great way to draw people outside, whether it be mountains, a lake or even a beautiful garden.
An Outie with Option for an Innie
Lastly, if you really must have either the ceremony or the reception (or both) outdoors, find a place with a nearby—as in walking distance—indoor site that’s big enough to hold everyone easily. Renting a tent doesn’t cut it. A tent will not ward off a chill, can be worrisome in heavy wind, and leaves the people around the edges wet if it rains. None of these things make for happy guests. While you might manage to overlook it, your guests most likely will not. Sure, your guests are happy for you, but truth be told, they’d rather be home doing laundry than braving the weather and ruining their nice shoes or fighting over who gets to wear the one jacket between them.
This outie-with-an-innie approach can be more expensive, because you could wind up having to pay for two places, but you’ll be happy you did if the weather turns against you. Plus, think of how much you’ll worry about the weather otherwise. You’ve got six to twelve months to worry about if it will rain on that one day. No one needs that kind of stress.
To find this kind of option, you might have to do a little extra searching. Perhaps a park has a big pavilion (not as good as indoors, but it’s better than a tent) or building that’s not used all that much. Or you might find a hotel with a balcony large enough to hold events outdoors that’s connected to an interior room. Whatever it is, just remember you’ll have last minute décor issues, as your vendors and other helpers scramble to rearrange everything. But if that doesn't bother you, go for it, just make sure your guests will be protected from the elements.
As a rule, I’d say it’s a nice idea, but keep the planned events indoors. However, if you just can’t help thinking of how romantic and beautiful it would be, there are some things you can do.
Compromise
Plan one piece outside, like cocktail hour or photos. That way you get to spend some time outdoors, without much risk, because both of those events could easily be pulled inside with a few last minute preparations.
A Site with a View
Find a reception site with a large balcony, patio or deck where you and your guests can go outside at will, but where the actual events happen indoors. Somewhere with a view is a great way to draw people outside, whether it be mountains, a lake or even a beautiful garden.
An Outie with Option for an Innie
Lastly, if you really must have either the ceremony or the reception (or both) outdoors, find a place with a nearby—as in walking distance—indoor site that’s big enough to hold everyone easily. Renting a tent doesn’t cut it. A tent will not ward off a chill, can be worrisome in heavy wind, and leaves the people around the edges wet if it rains. None of these things make for happy guests. While you might manage to overlook it, your guests most likely will not. Sure, your guests are happy for you, but truth be told, they’d rather be home doing laundry than braving the weather and ruining their nice shoes or fighting over who gets to wear the one jacket between them.
This outie-with-an-innie approach can be more expensive, because you could wind up having to pay for two places, but you’ll be happy you did if the weather turns against you. Plus, think of how much you’ll worry about the weather otherwise. You’ve got six to twelve months to worry about if it will rain on that one day. No one needs that kind of stress.
To find this kind of option, you might have to do a little extra searching. Perhaps a park has a big pavilion (not as good as indoors, but it’s better than a tent) or building that’s not used all that much. Or you might find a hotel with a balcony large enough to hold events outdoors that’s connected to an interior room. Whatever it is, just remember you’ll have last minute décor issues, as your vendors and other helpers scramble to rearrange everything. But if that doesn't bother you, go for it, just make sure your guests will be protected from the elements.
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